This is important to paying attention to our roles, because it helps us to identify our strengths and weaknesses, which in turn helps us to make better decisions and form better relationships with others. It also helps us to recognize our roles in the larger scheme of things and to understand the impact our actions can have on others.
In order to fully be present in life, not only must we observe and address our realities without fail, but also decide proactively which roles and behaviors we want to play each day. Each of us can play one or a combination of five vital roles at any given time. A life without intention results from inattention to these possible roles. The more aware we are of them, the more we are able to activate our full potential in each moment. Having a purpose gives meaning to our lives and activities. There is no greater bridge to Now than the purpose.
Observer
The first role we can play in our lives is the observer or the conscious viewer. This is the role and responsibility we are charged with through the gift of self-awareness. As observers, we can float above our reality and view the totality of who we are in life and the minutia of how we are acting and reacting in the very moment. It is not a detachment from ourselves or the moment, but rather a careful observance of it. Those who have mastered this role can make a decision and almost simultaneously evaluate whether or not it is the right decision.
They can sense themselves doing, feeling, and thinking things, and know if those things are authentic. They notice when they are making poor decisions, being rude to others, and forgetting something important. They are vitally aware of themselves. They can sense a conflict brewing and feel their anger lifting yet choose not to act on that anger.
It is as though they have an internal dialogue: “Oh, I see that I am becoming upset about this situation. Why am I reacting this way right now? Will anger serve me in this moment? If I were responding as my highest self, what would I say and do right now? Self-examination is the key to mastering this role.
At various points throughout the day, we can stop and ask ourselves, “If I stopped and hovered over my life, what would I see myself doing, and why would I think I’m doing that?”? Is there a reason why I am feeling this way right now? Is what I am doing and intend to do going to bring about the results I want? As I sit here, I try to imagine what my mind, body, and spirit are feeling and needing and wanting right now. Our lives and ourselves become more connected when we grasp the concept of sensing ourselves. This must be our goal.
Director
As a director, our second role is to create our lives intentionally and consciously. Imagine life as a movie, and we can be the director who directs each scene and character. All decisions are made by the director, who is the ultimate planner and authority on what each character does, why they do it, and what they will do next. Every second of filming is determined by the director’s choice of focus. A compelling and meaningful story is shaped by the director’s well-reasoned choice of characters. There is much wisdom to be gained from this simple metaphor when it comes to improving our lives.
A person who does not direct the scenes and characters of the story of their life is unhappy with it. There was no plan for their story. Their lives were filled with wanderings between situations without any real purpose. Instead of focusing on the positive aspects of life, they often zoomed in on the negative. During important scenes, they allowed the wrong characters to enter. The big picture was rarely seen from outside the frame. When faced with difficulties, they act like whiny children screeching across the stage of life instead of being noble and heroic characters.
As directors, we must be detailed in our intentions for every scene in our story. What would we like the scene to look like if we were on a date with our spouse this evening? Is there a kind of person we would like to have at the dinner table? What will we look like and how will we sound? What will we say in response to her descriptions of her day? Can the scene be kept fresh with any surprises? We might be able to capture the entire evening as a romantic love affair if we were to see it through our own eyes. What is going to happen with this story?
The ability to direct our own movies gives us the power to choose our entire character and life’s arc. What will our character be? Will it be strong or weak, noble or selfish, stressed or peaceful, flighty or grounded? Do our days reveal something about who we are, and if so, what? In the next scene of our lives, what will we demonstrate and become? There is a lot at stake here. Through them, we can gain a deeper understanding of the story of our lives and avoid becoming lost in it.
The larger mass narrative is a boring story of conformity in which we become bit players in other people’s stories. So, let’s become more aware: What is our life’s story and what can we do to make it happen?
